Why Saying “Cheese” Should Be a Criminal Offence

I’ve got no idea who first decided that shouting “cheese” was the magic trick for a good photo, but they owe all of us an apology. The second someone says it, everyone tenses up. Shoulders rise. Eyes go wide. Smiles freeze into that weird, slightly panicked grin you used to do in primary school photos. And honestly, nothing kills a real moment faster than that.

Your wedding day isn’t a staged photoshoot. It isn’t a corporate headshot session. And it definitely isn’t the time to shout dairy products with your teeth clenched. Your photos should feel like you. The real, human, imperfect, lovely you. The way you look at each other when you forget anyone else is watching. The little smirks you do without realising. The tiny moments when you breathe out and relax because you’re with your person. Those are the things that make a photograph feel alive.

And here is the thing. The best smiles never happen because someone told you to smile. They happen because something genuinely funny or soft or ridiculous happens. Maybe one of you whispers something inappropriate. Maybe I say something you didn’t expect. Maybe the whole moment just catches you off guard in the nicest way. That is when your shoulders drop. That is when your face softens. That is when you look happy without trying to look happy.

My entire job is basically making you forget the camera exists. I’m not here to shape your chin or place your hands or tell you to stare lovingly into the distance like you’re in a perfume advert. I’m here to make you feel comfortable enough that your natural chemistry does all the work. We’ll chat. We’ll walk. We’ll mess about. You’ll forget you’re being photographed and suddenly you’ll be laughing at something stupid one of you said, and that’s the moment I’m waiting for.

And yes, every now and then, someone else at a wedding will decide to take charge and shout “say cheese” at a group. When that happens, I react internally the same way I would if someone suggested doing the Macarena unironically. I’ll smile politely, wait for the forced grimaces to pass, and then I’ll jump back in, distract everyone, and get the real shot. The one where you’re actually enjoying yourselves. The one where nobody’s pretending.

So if you feel “cheese” coming on during your portraits, don’t do it. Bite your tongue. Think of anything else. If it slips out, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it. If it happens more than once, I’ll start distracting you so quickly you won’t even remember what you were trying to say. Not because I’m being precious. Just because you deserve photos that actually look like you, not the face you put on when you think you’re supposed to pose.

Your wedding photos should feel easy. Fun. Natural. Like you’re hanging out with your favourite person, not performing for a camera. No forced smiles. No stiff posing. And definitely no cheese. You just bring your connection. I’ll bring the camera. Together we’ll create photos you’ll still love in fifty years.